I am am outsider in my family, what can I do?

I am the outsider. I do not have the same relationship with my mom and dad that my sister or brother does. I am the oldest. I left home 17 years ago when I was 18 because my house was not a very pleasant place to be in. I moved in with a man and later married him. we have been married for 14 years and have 3 children. My parents did not approve of my husband and turned thier back to me for almost 7 years. When I was pregnant with my 1st child, I tried to patch things up and made a little progress with my mom. Not so much with my father. He didn't come to the hospital when my son was born, and in fact, didn't see him until he was 7 or 8 months old. Over the past 14 years the relationship with my family is platonic at best. We do holidays and birthdays, but I have no feeling of connection and no one really goes out of thier way to make me or my husband really feel welcome and a viable part of the family. My sister is extremely close to my parents. She is the youngest. My mom and her are more like best friends than mother and daughter. Mom is also alot closer to my sister's kids than mine, I think simply because they spend so much time together. They even go on vacations together. They ask me to go along and I did once, and I will not go again. We might as well have been strangers in the group, no one cared that we were there. My father took my brother and brother-in-law fishing on a rental boat and never asked my husband to join them, they just all left and he sat at camp with me, playing cards. I went through a long depression when I left home and it took a long time to get through it. Now I wonder if having a family that treats me as an outsider is worth it. Does anyone have any ideas?